Heys
Heys is a collection of my letters I send to myself. It's a way for me to step out of me and reflect on me, and life.
Hey Akash how are you doing today?
Akash I feel like sometimes you say you want something but really it’s just that you want to want that thing because that’s what other people want. Does it make sense? For example, you see that other people are earning lots of money and you feel like you should also earn lots of money too. But you never really wanted to earn lots of money. Normally all of this is just fine but I feel like you kinda punish yourself for not achieving said goals but the reason you didn’t achieve isn’t because you’re lazy, stupid, incompetent or whatever, Nah it’s that those goals were never really your goals to begin with. So I want you sit down for a minute and just think about what you want out of life you know?
Have a lovely evening my friend
Akash
Hey Akash how are you doing today?
You know you’ll never be ready right? Like I know that you know that you’ll never be ready yet it seems like you still don’t viscerally feel it. If you look back at your life and try to connect the dots you’ll see that you were never ready when shit hit the fan, and yet you survived somehow (and are doing pretty good actually). So why don’t you take a leap of faith next time you’re afraid of something cause you’re not ready?
Cause it’s all that is, Akash—a leap of faith.
Have a lovely afternoon my friend
Akash
Hey Akash, how are you doing?
I see that you desperately keep trying to get rid of your bad coping mechanisms but seem to fail miserably. You know, you don’t have to be so harsh on yourself over it. Put the gun down. Being harsh perpetuates the cycle that you seem to want to get out of. You gotta realize that these coping mechanisms, however bad it may seem, served a very real purpose for you. You can’t just wake up one day instantly get rid of it cause you no longer like/need it. You gotta be gentler, sit with them, and slowly cultivate better coping mechanisms. But they can never come from the place of hate, they should come from the place of love.
Have a lovely evening my friend,
Akash
Hey Akash, how are you doing today?
Akash you gotta meet yourself where you’re at. Sure you wanna do these grand things but you gotta start small, take baby steps, and celebrate your wins no matter how small. This generates momentum, and helps you build trust in yourself (that-casual-confidence-in-oneself-kind). This is the way.
Have a lovely evening my friend
Akash
Hey Akash how are you doing today?
I see you fall into this trap of controlling things, aspects of your life, but we both know they never work and never have. Tragedy is that you seem to blame yourself for not making it work. Dude you can’t fight the wave, you can only surf it. Go learn to surf!
Have a lovely evening my friend
Akash
Hey Akash how are you doing today?
Akash you know the reason you’d been feeling down lately? You were severely lacking in vitamin D! As soon as we fixed that up, you were back to normal. What does that teach us? That you’ve got to be in-touch with your body. It’s always signalling you if there’s something going on that you should be aware of, but you’ve got to listen for it otherwise you might miss it. For example, notice how you feel pain in certain parts of your body when you’re pushing it? your body is telling you to back-off lest you injure yourself. You get the idea, your body is sending you so many signals every. single. day.
Now, your body is always sending you signals but it’s not foolproof. It might misfire, that’s why it’s important to listen for it! Like, notice how sometimes when you’re in a party, you feel a bit anxious and your heart starts racing? Yeah your body thinks it’s in danger and is preparing you for fight-or-flight response, but we both know it’s misfiring. And you can’t know and mitigate that if you don’t listen!
Have a lovely day my friend
Akash
Hey Akash how are you doing today?
Akash you keep trying to let go but alas you seem to fail miserably. You see, you can’t let go by trying, trying is doing. No you let go by allowing yourself; Allowing yourself to feel your emotions, your breadth, the world around you, the leaves of the tree you’re just looking at, to be here in the moment, and more importantly, to see the pain of holding on. Just allow yourself man, don’t try.
Have a lovely evening my friend
Akash
Hey Aakash how are you doing today?
Man you cannot do 100 meditations in 100 days, no. But you can do 1 meditation today. So focus on just doing it today, don’t mull over the past or the future cause they don’t matter, what matters is what you’re going today.
Have a lovely day my friend,
Akash
Hey Akash, how are you doing my friend?
Akash I seem to feel like you have all the puzzle pieces in place, you just can’t seem to connect them together in a single piece. And it’s eating at you, everyday. It feels a bit like how in a cs game when you’ve defeated all the enemies but the bomb is still ticking and you can’t for the life of you find out where is it planted, and every second that goes by is makes you anxious. But maybe you don’t have to defuse the bomb. Maybe it’s okay to loose the game. I think the real reason you feel anxious is because you’re afraid to loose. So just dump it. Loose the game. And grieve the loss. Take as much time as you need to grieve. And one day you’ll be ready to start a new game.
Have a lovely evening my friend,
Akash
Hey Akash how are you doing today?
Akash you gotta learn to simply say No. You don’t have to show your point of view, or your reasoning. Cause when you start justifying yourself, you start to lose your conviction. It’s as if you don’t trust your judgement, more importantly it’s as if you care more about what other person is thinking about you than you yourself about you. You need to be in the Akash’s team my friend. So don’t say anything after No.
No is enough.
Have a lovely day my friend,
Akash