Hey akash how are you doing today?
Akash I like that you try to conjecture ideas about your behaviors; I think you should take a scientific approach to them. i.e. Your conjectures should be falsifiable and reproducible. Falsifiable because if you can't test and disprove your conjectures than you can't make progress on them. Reproducible because they help build confidence.
I like this approach cause it also helps you be objective and a bit detached from them.
Thanks and have a lovely evening my freind
Akash
p.s. Don't be afraid to ask your friends and family for help, sometimes they know more about you than you yourself!